A toxic relationship is all shades of red and here's how to identify you are in ONE.
Toxic relationships are like mistakes that others can see but, the one involved is blind to it. After all, love makes us overlook all the alarming signs of our partner. However, none of us have to be in a toxic relationship for the sake of love/helplessness. Your relationship can drain you emotionally, physically, and financially due to the toxicity of your partner. Therefore, no matter how much you love them, there need to be some boundaries that you have to set for a healthy relationship.
Read this article to ensure you are not in a toxic relationship and how you can turn it into a healthy one.
Common signs of a toxic relationship:
Disrespecting you - Be it personally or at any public gathering, they leave no chance of making mean comments about you. They lecture you at any given circumstance. Moreover, they exclude you from crucial decisions (that requires mutual agreement), be it for family or friends.
Distancing themselves - The toxic partner often leaves the victim in isolation. They are never available for emotional or physical intimacy. They do not participate in get-togethers with family or friends, and if they do, there’s a negative vibe around them. Moreover, skipping dinner plans with you even after making promises. After all this, they blame you for the lack of intimacy and their behavior.
Big little lies - Everything they say sounds made up. Yes, they hide things from you and, they might be cheating you or not, but there are lies. When a person lies, they put you in a questionable position. It becomes mentally draining as there are lies on your face, about someone else, about you to someone else.
Ghosting - In a casual friendship, it is acceptable to disconnect for a while and then reappear. However, for a person who is romantically involved with you, it is suspicious. Unless this was the mutual agreement for this relationship from the start. It is a red flag when a partner ghosts you by blocking all means of communication and becoming unreachable at any point in a relationship.
Constant comparisons - They strive to change YOU either appearance or behavior. If you are chirpy, they will compare you to someone introverted and ask you to be more like them and vice versa. They will weigh you with someone they consider better than you. Making you compete with others or themselves for the pleasure of hurting you.
Enforces insecurity - They make you feel anxious by imposing their insecurities on you. You end up hiding things from them. They implement passive-aggressive behavior to manipulate you. They hurt you on purpose by targeting your weaknesses.
Undervalue you - Even after continuous efforts to save the relationship partner does not appreciate it. They do not value what you bring to the table. They ignore your needs and, there is little or no help from them in shared responsibilities. They enjoy life at your expense, yet there is no gratitude towards you.
Harasses you - RED ALERT! Molestation in a relationship is never acceptable or excusable. You must walk out of the relationship if your partner harasses you mentally or physically.
Gaslighting you - You could never know you were in a toxic relationship because of your partner’s manipulation techniques. Yes, you read it right, this person was controlling you, making you feel sorry for them, and losing your identity under the impression that this was all in good faith. Implying that they know what is better for you.
The fear, stress, loss of self-esteem, losing touch with friends and family can take a toll on your health and relations. If your relationship makes you feel exhausted and confined then it is toxic.
How to fix your toxic relationship (if you decide to continue):
Letting go of a long-term relationship is not easy. You have invested in the relationship emotionally, physically, and financially. If you want to work on this relationship mutually, then you should give it a chance. You both need expert counseling to analyze the real issues.
Let go of each other’s baggage - A good relationship can turn ugly if there are constant pulling downs by bringing up past mistakes. Both of you have to forgive each other and move on to a better life together.
Say no to abuse - For a healthy relationship, there must not be any physical or mental abuse. If your partner abuses you, this needs to stop right there. You can choose to walk out of this relationship without any threat.
Couple therapy - This is a good idea for partners who want to improve their relationship. The expert will scrutinize the issues and suggest parameters to work on as a couple. A therapist will help resolve issues that influence your relationship, but they cannot change a person.
Victims of toxic relationships give up on any hope in their relationship. They continue sacrificing to satisfy their partner. Their feel drained and, they can no longer put up a fight for themselves. What they should do is, seek help from friends and family. Do not resist yourself from walking out of a toxic relationship as there is no shame, selfishness, or guilt in it.
