“The dog is the only being that loves you more than you love yourself.”
Fritz Von Unruh

Nearly every creature interacts with others and develops affectionate bonds. As your pet’s guardian, you are responsible for making sure that she has the opportunity to interact in a loving way with others.

If you frequently spend quality time with your pet (and sometimes even if you don’t), you’re likely to become the love of your pet’s life. After all, you are the source of much or all of his/her food, shelter, grooming, play, and affection. Every responsible pet guardian knows that this is a serious, lifetime commitment which, however, repays you many times over in the affection, enthusiasm, and loyalty of your pet. But how can you maximize your loving relationship with your pet? And how can you best give him/her the opportunity to develop loving relationships with other people and other animals?

Remember, your pet is a person with thoughts, feelings, and needs who just happens to be a furry body. S/he experiences loneliness, frustration, joy, pain, affection, love, and all the other emotions that we humans do. It’s not okay to make your pet take care of all his/her own emotional needs. S/he needs regular and consistent interaction with you.

Pets love routine, and an established routine also helps you to remember to regularly take care of your pet’s emotional needs. So establish a time each day when you can sit down with your pet and give him/her your undivided attention. Look into his/her eyes, try to clear your mind, and see if you get any impressions about what she feels, wants, or needs. Be sure to give your pet a lot of physical affection. Experiment to see what kinds of touch she prefers as you play with and caress him/her. Some pets like only a gentle touch while others prefer to really horse around. Notice where she most likes to be stroked and how. Most animals respond well to Therapeutic Touch. This involves gently making clockwise motions with your fingertips on different parts of the animal’s body.

Your pet must also be given the opportunity to give you affection. This will happen naturally in your play time together, but she may also enjoy cozying up with you in your lap, sitting by your side, kissing your hand and face, etc. at other times as well. Make yourself available to your pet as much as you can. Some pets are content just to have you be in the same room with them. Remember, you are the main person in your pet’s life, and she will get lonely without you, especially if she doesn’t have an animal friend.

Sometimes, no matter how much affection you give to your pet, she will need an animal friend. I first experienced this with my Pekingese puppy Addie. Before I adopted her in December 2003, I had always had rescue dogs and cats, usually older individuals who were content to spend most of their time in my lap or by my side. I already had my two rescue German Shepherds, Hanna and Alex, at the time I got Addie, but they had been raised together and continued to spend most of their time with one another. I had never had to consider how to take care of an animal’s emotional needs as these older pets were content to be played with a few minutes a day and then to either play with one another or to rest.

My 17 ½ year old Pekingese, Sir Addison, had passed away in August 2003, and the void he’d left in heart was not healing. So my husband Dean suggested that I get a Pekingese puppy in the hope that this would cheer me up. Lady Addison (“Addie”) came into my life when she was 2 ½ months old. She was a little white fur ball of love, joy, and endless affection. I played with her for hours each day, and she loved it, but I also had to spend many hours working at the computer (I’m a writer), and during this time she became bored and lonely.

Addie tried to get the extra love she needed from Hanna and Alex. She would cuddle up with them as much as possible and even stand below their faces on her hind legs, her tongue darting upwards as she hoped to reach them for a kiss. But she was rarely able to do so. For a long time, they didn’t quite know what to make of her and generally ignored her. (Alex: “Do you think it’s a cat?” Hanna: “I don’t know. It’s some sort of alien creature. We’d better keep our distance!”) So poor Addie was lonely much of the time, even though everyone in our household petted her as much as possible.

Addie was and is a people person, completely ecstatic whenever someone walks into the room. She runs to them as fast as her little legs will carry her, full of kisses as she rubs her body against theirs. As a baby, she seemed to always be happiest when we’d do a bookstore or school appearance because scores of people would pet her. I remember the first time I took her to a bookstore to promote my Pekingese books. She sat in her little bed on the table next to the books and would stand on her hind legs whenever someone entered the store, her tail wagging so fast it was like a helicopter blade. If they came to greet her, she was in heaven. If they didn’t notice her or for any other reason didn’t approach her, her little body would sink back into her bed, her tail drooping.

I knew that poor Addie needed more love in her life, but I didn’t know how to provide it. At first, I took her to various dog events, which temporarily made her quite happy. I also considered dog parks (a great idea for sociable dogs), but there were none near us. However, after a playtime out with other dogs, she seemed just as lonely as ever once we got home.

So I put an ad in the local newspaper, “Free pet sitting for one small dog.” Soon Pierre the miniature poodle began coming to our house (I work at home) about 50 hours a

week while his mother worked. Even this wasn’t enough for Addie. She’d sit by the door and stare out the window for long periods of time each day after he left, missing him. Worse yet, after only a month or two, a change in his mother’s living and work situation made it impossible for Pierre to continue coming. Addie was devastated.

Then my Mom arrived from out of state with her little Pekingese Brenda. During their two-week stay, Addie was in heaven. Brenda became her best friend, and they played together nearly every waking moment. Addie regained a certain brightness and joy that she’d lost after Pierre had to stop coming. But soon my Mom and Brenda needed to head back to their home in San Diego, and Addie was once again left without a small dog companion.

I became very worried about Addie. She was listless, barely eating, and skinny as a rail. Shortly afterwards, on the day she turned six months old, she competed in her first dog show. We saw her breeder, Joy Thoms, ¹ at the show as well as Addie’s litter mate Chenin Blanc, who was already about twice tiny Addie’s size. Joy remarked that Addie was the spitting image of her litter mate, Little Big Man. No one wanted him, Joy said, because he, like Addie, was too small to compete effectively at the shows.

My heart went out to Little Big Man. I remembered him from when I’d first gone to visit Joy’s kennel soon after the puppies’ birth. He was the tiniest one of all and had repeatedly tried to climb into my lap and curl up there. I’d been tempted to adopt him, but after having had a boy Pekingese, I thought it would be a nice change to have a girl. And little Addie had managed to climb all the way up my chest and wrap her paws around my neck the second time I met her. It was pretty obvious that she’d chosen me, and so I chose her. At the time it had never occurred to me to adopt both these puppies. My husband Dean is not really a dog person, and Addie already made three dogs in our household.

But when I went home from the dog show and told Dean about Little Big Man’s plight—that no one wanted him, and we already knew that Addie was lonely—Dean suggested that we adopt him! The next day our son Derek drove all the way to Joy’s kennel in Molalla, Oregon (we live north of Seattle, Washington) to pick him up.

Adopting Little Big Man, whom we renamed Rocky, was the best thing I could have done for Addie. She immediately went back to being joyful all the time, gained weight, and finally had a permanent best friend to play with to occupy the many hours when I couldn’t be with her.

In Addie’s case, as for many animals, the best love tip beyond my giving her a lot of affection was for her to have her own animal companion! I often see Addie lying on her back while Rocky kisses her again and again all over her little face and belly. I’ve seen him kiss her up to 15 minutes at a time. (Of course, Addie kisses him too, but not quite as extensively!) They also wrestle, run around the house and yard side by side (exploring and sharing everything they find), hunt together (unfortunately, at least 2 mice, one squirrel, and one bird have met their demise from the Addie-Rocky hunting team), and sometimes fight over food and treats. But any argument soon passes, and they go back to cuddling or kissing, as they do briefly or for extended periods many times a day.

Rocky is the love of Addie’s life, and Addie is the love of Rocky’s life. The fact that Addie’s been spayed has done nothing to diminish their affection in any way. (I had to spay Addie when we got Rocky because I don’t have the expertise nor the time necessary to raise puppies.) So don’t think that your pet’s love life has ended because s/he’s been fixed! The need for love and companionship is not related to sexuality. To make the most of friendship between pets, all you have to do is to allow them to have unstructured time together. They will do the rest.

Besides having animal friends to love, it can also be important for your pet to have other human friends. I encourage both Addie and Rocky to spend time with other loving people as much as possible, and they seem to enjoy it immensely.

If your pet should turn out to be gay and that’s something that is difficult for you, it is important for you to nevertheless accept him or her. Animals are very tuned into the emotions of those around them and thus can feel hurt and rejected just by our thoughts and feelings. I heard about a right-wing Christian who was at first devastated when he found out from his pet daycare facility that his Chihuahua was gay. But because of his love for his pet, he came to terms with it, bought the Chihuahua a cute little leather jacket, and even allowed him to spend extra time with the large male dog the Chihuahua had fallen in love with. We must love humans and animals regardless of their sexual orientation. Every being is worthy of love and acceptance.

How do you choose the right friend for your pet if, like Addie, s/he needs an animal companion? It’s impossible to predict which animal or even which species of animal your pet will feel drawn to. Some dogs and cats are best friends. I even know of a dog whose best friend is a deer. Consider taking your pet to local events, such as pet shows, dog parks, animal club meetings, neighborhood meetings, etc. where s/he can be exposed to other animals and choose his/her own friend. I said ‘local’ because it won’t do your pet much good to make a friend who lives too far away for them to see each other regularly.

Better yet, as in Addie’s case, see if you can adopt an animal companion for your pet. You might start by meeting other animals who are the same species and breed as your current animal. Sometimes it’s easier for a pet to identify with another creature who’s very much like him/her. But don’t reject opportunities for your pet to meet others who are very different from him/her. You never know in advance who s/he will really click with. Obviously, you must observe your pet closely as you give him/her time to interact with his/her potential new companion. The last thing you want to do is to adopt another animal whom your current pet dislikes.

Once your pet has a constant playmate and friend, you’ll still want to spend as much time with the two of them as you can. Addie and Rocky are always ecstatic to see and play with me, especially just after I’ve come home from being out for awhile and after I’ve been on my computer for a few hours. First thing in the morning, once or twice in the afternoon, and last thing in the evening, I spend at least 5 or 10 minutes playing with them. I also frequently clear their energy field (procedure described below) to keep them happy and feeling loved and loving. In addition, I take them on at least one good walk a day and allow them to play outside unsupervised close to our house. (We’re in the countryside, living in the middle of forty acres, but if you’re in the city, obviously you can’t allow your pets to play outside unsupervised unless they’re in a fenced area.)

Before I got Rocky, Addie was becoming increasingly lethargic and sad. When I consulted with an animal communicator, ²it turned out that this was not only because she needed a buddy. Addie had decided that one of her primary purposes in life was to care for and protect me. So whenever negative energy came my way, she would step between me and it, absorbing it into her little body to shield me. I was really moved—this selfless action showed her great love for me! But, sweet as this was, it was really damaging her health, and so I had to take action to protect her. The communicator worked to clean out Addie’s chakras and then suggested that I do the following maintenance on her. I now do this on both Addie and Rocky several times a week. You could even do it every day on your pet, if you’re so inclined.

Imagine that you’re holding the large end of a tennis racket between your two palms as they are stretched out in front of you, facing each other. This is a special tennis racket—one that can trap and filter out any negative or old energy that your pet no longer needs. Place your hands on either side of your pet’s body (not touching but a few inches away from him/her) and pull the tennis racket through his/her body, from head to tail or tail to head. Imagine that you’re pulling out everything that may in any way be impeding your pet’s health or energy flow. Do this several times, and after each pass through his/her body, imagine that the energy you’ve pulled out sinks down into the earth where it is recycled and transformed.

Your pet will feel your moving this energy and may wiggle around or even stare at you curiously in the process. When you feel like his/her energy field is relatively clear, then let the tennis racket go and place your hands side by side over his/her head, palms facing the animal. Imagine that you are channeling a stream of healing golden light through your hands and into your pet’s body. Imagine him/her becoming filled with this golden light and see it nourishing him/her physically, mentally, and emotionally. Then imagine a bubble of clear or golden light surrounding your pet’s body, protecting him/her from anything that could cause harm.

Another thing you can do, which has been helpful for both Addie and Rocky, is to say affirmations for your pet while tapping his/her chest lightly (just over the thymus is best). In Addie’s case, her health has not always been the best, so my favorite affirmation for her is, “I am vibrant and healthy.” Rocky, on the other hand, has always been very healthy physically but came to us feeling unworthy of existing because no one wanted him at his former home. His affirmation is usually, “Everlasting life! I am worthy of living.” Another thing that’s greatly benefited Rocky (especially with his fear issues) is flower essence therapy. I encourage you to learn about flower essences (you can buy them at your local natural grocery store) because they can treat many emotional and mental issues as well as enhance a pet’s joy, happiness, and feelings of love.

I’d like to close this essay by again emphasizing the great love pets can show for one another. One of the most remarkable cases I’ve witnessed is between my former dog, Sir Addison, and my Mom’s former dog, Lillian, a six-pound Yorkie. I was inspired to write a children’s picture book, The Princess and the Pekinese, while longing for Lillian to accept Addison, the new arrival who had ended her reign as “only dog” during the time she and my Mom lived with us. For three years Addison tried unsuccessfully to befriend

the hostile Lillian. If he even looked at her, she’d growl at him, and heaven help him if he had the nerve to approach her! The two finally achieved an uneasy truce only after he learned to avoid the snooty Yorkie, who imagined herself a human being, or at least a Great Dane.

But then one day, after my Mom and Lillian moved away but returned for a visit, I noticed Lillian sitting right next to Addison instead of as far away as possible. Later Addison’s paw was around Lillian, and she snuggled up to him rather than snarling. After dinner that night, Lillian suddenly dropped dead from an apparent heart attack. No one was more upset than Addison, who refused to eat, drink, or even move for days.

I met with an animal communicator, who revealed not only how dearly Addison had loved Lillian but also the puzzling news that Lillian’s death was due not to her own illness but to something she wanted to accomplish through her death. I couldn’t figure out what this could possibly be.

A few days later, my husband Dean and I left for a month abroad. Because Lillian was gone and my Mom was distraught, she asked if she could take Addison home to San Diego for company while we were gone. Otherwise, he would have stayed in Tonasket with the people who had agreed to care for our German Shepherds Hanna and Alex.

When we returned from Europe, Hanna and Alex were thin and sickly. They were half starved and had been left outside the whole time exposed to wolf and coyote attacks. If Addison had been in this situation, he surely would have died. Instead, he came home from his visit with my Mom looking healthy and pampered. It was then that I realized the mysterious reason for Lillian’s death: she had given her life to save Addison’s.

By Trisha Howell